Rumors R' Us

A year later they met.

 

The first man said, “My son is playing baseball, I had McDonald’s for breakfast and I’m on my way to pick up a case of Bud…. how about you?”

 

The second man replied, “Fuk u, towel head.”

Those of us 
who spend much time in a doctor’s office should appreciate this! 
Doesn’t it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices 
like an assembly line? Here’s what happened to 
Bubba:

Bubba walked 
into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had. 
Bubba said: “Shingles.” So she wrote down his name, address, medical 
insurance number and told him to have a 
seat.

Fifteen 
minutes later a nurse’s aide came out and asked Bubba what he 
had.

Bubba said, 
“Shingles.” So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical 
histor y and told Bubba to wait in the examining 
room.

A half hour 
later a nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, 
“Shingles.” So the nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure 
test, an electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off all his clothes and 
wait for the doctor.

An hour later 
the doctor came in and found Bubba sitting patiently in the nude and asked 
Bubba what he had. Bubba said, “Shingles.” The doctor asked, 
“Where?”

Bubba said, 
“Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload 
‘em??”

You must read this!

>  Yesterday, my youngest daughter,  Halle , who is 4, was rushed to
> the emergency room by her father for being severely lethargic and
> incoherent. He was called to her school by the school secretary for
> being ‘very VERY sick.’
>
>  He told me that when he arrived,  Halle was barely sitting in the
> chair.

> She couldn’t hold her own head up and when he looked into her eyes,
> she couldn’t focus them.

>  He immediately scooped her up and rushed her to the ER, and then
> called me.

>  When we got there, they ran blood test after blood test and did
> x-rays, every test imaginable. Her white blood cell count was normal,
> nothing was out of the ordinary. The ER doctor told us that he had
> done everything that he could do so he was sending her to Saint
> Francis for further tests.

> Right when we were leaving in the ambulance, her teacher came to
> the ER and, after questioning  Halle ’s classmates, we found out that
> she had licked hand sanitizer off her hand.
>
> Hand sanitizer, of all things.
>
> But it makes sense. These days they have all kinds of different scents
> and when you have a curious child, they are going to put all kinds of
> things into their mouths.

> When we arrived at Saint Francis, we told the ER doctor there to
> check her blood alcohol level, and yes we did get weird looks, but
> they did it.

> The results showed her blood alcohol level was 85% –  six hours after
> we first took her. There’s no telling what it would have been if we
> would have requested it at the first ER.

> Since then, her school and a few surrounding schools have taken
> this out of the classrooms of all the lower grade classes, but what’s
> to stop middle and high schoolers from ingesting the stuff?
>
> After doing research on the Internet, we have found out that it
> only takes 3 squirts of the stuff to be fatal in a toddler. For her
> blood alcohol level to be so high was to compare someone her size to
> drinking something 120 proof. So please PLEASE don’t disregard this
> because I don’t ever want anyone else to go through what my family and

> I have gone through.

  

Grandpop and Bo, the Dog