Rumors R' Us

I just got a new car and I love it!  But not as much as this man.  Danny Brawner apparently really loved his car…  The 46 year old man dropped his drawers in the middle of a grocery store parking lot and proceeded to “make the love” with his car.  Children watched with horror!

By the time the cops arrived the man had apparently emptied his tank and was sleeping quietly beside his car.  Police said Brawner apeared to be intoxicated…

After reading about this incident, “Cash for Clunkers” takes on a whole nother meaning…

You'll save this much buddy! No more!

Don’t  you agree that it is every one’s job to help save the environment?  People are carpooling to help cut down on smog causing emissions. Some people are doing their part by using pump sprayers instead of aerosols that deplete the ozone layer.  Now, even the “Ladies of the Evening” are doing their part to help save the environment.

 A legal brothel in Berlin, Maison d’envie, is offering an “environmental discount” of 5 euros for customers who arrive by bike or can prove they used public transportation to get there.  I wonder if they get an extra BIG discount if they carpool?

That’s around $7, or half the price of tongue kissing at the brothel (yes, you have to pay extra for that). Rates at the brothel normally start at 30 euros for 15 minutes of sex, or about 14 minutes long than it takes any of the men I’ve known.

The brothel owners say they’re in walking distance of stations on both of Berlin’s major commuter rail lines, as well as a well-maintained bicycle path.  Location, Location, Location….

Brothel owner Thomas Goetz said the new promotion has put some bang back into his business. He told Reuters that up to 5 customers a day are taking advantage of the discount.  I hope they don’t blowall of their savings at one time!

Weird News Central also reports that numerous Berlin housewives are wondering why so many of their husbands have suddenly taken up bicycling.

These are hard times for many people, but now you can do your part to save the environment while just laying there.

An elementary school teacher sent her students home for the summer with a video of class memories, and what memories they were…  Only the DVD included seven seconds of her having sex on a couch.  Which is about how long it takes when I have sex.

School District Officials asked families of the teacher’s 25 students to get rid of the DVD after the clip was found spliced in a scene where children were sharing stories in class.  I’m sure the stories they have now are much more interesting.

“Just destroy them,” said the spokesperson.

The teacher, whose name isn’t being released, sent the DVD home with her students from on the last day of class Friday. She learned of the mistake after a parent called her and said WTF?. She then called all the parents to ask them to destroy the DVD.

The school district, initially sent a letter home to parents asking them to return the DVDs, but then asked parents to simply destroy them.

It is just amazing!!!  You really can find EVERYTHING you want at Wal-Mart and at a reasonable price!   Save Money Live Better – Wal-Mart! 

Gastonia, North Carolina (The Weekly Vice) — Sometimes a headline and a photo in a story is enough…. and this is likely such a case. If you can bear to read the details feel free. If not, we’ll certainly understand.  Asia Marie Howard, 25, and William Walter Stephens, 83, were arrested Wednesday after having sex in a Wal-Mart parking lot.

According to police, an officer stopped William Stephens and Asia Howard as they were leaving a Wal-Mart parking lot. Officers were dispatched to the scene after a witness encountered the two having sex in Stephen’s Buick. Investigators say Howard admitted to performing oral sex on Stephens for $20.00

Both were booked into the Gaston County Jail on a charge of crime against nature. Howard was released on a $2,500 bond while Stephens was released on a $1,000 bond.

Danny Vice The Weekly Vice http://www.theweeklyvice.com

This would be a great ad for their “Falling Prices” campaign.  You can save money on $4.00 prescriptions and with the money you save, you can get a blow-job in the parking lot!  Sam Walton, I’m sure is turning in his grave….