Comic Of The Day

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September 25, 2009 · Posted in Humor  
　　　　

LITTLE BOY GOES POTTY

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A LITTLE THREE YEAR OLD BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET.  

HIS MOTHER THINKS HE HAS BEEN IN THERE TOO LONG, SO SHE GOES IN TO SEE WHAT’S UP.  

THE LITTLE BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET READING A BOOK.  BUT ABOUT EVERY 10 SECONDS OR SO HE PUTS THE BOOK DOWN, GRIPS ONTO TO THE TOILET SEAT WITH HIS LEFT HAND AND HITS HIMSELF ON TOP OF THE HEAD WITH HIS RIGHT HAND.

HIS MOTHER SAYS: “BILLY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?  YOU’VE BEEN IN HERE FOR A WHILE.

BILLY SAYS:  ”I’M FINE, MOMMY.. I JUST HAVEN’T GONE ‘DOODY’ YET.”

MOTHER SAYS: “OK, YOU CAN STAY HERE A FEW MORE MINUTES.  BUT,  BILLY,  WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF ON THE HEAD?”

 

BILLY SAYS: “WORKS FOR KETCHUP.”

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September 25, 2009 · Posted in Humor  
　　　　

Bad ASS Dog

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This is one bad motha (shut yo mouth)!

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September 23, 2009 · Posted in Humor  
　　　　

Americanized Afghanistan Joke

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Two families moved from Afghanistan to America.

When they arrived, the two fathers made a bet. 

In a year’s time, whichever family had become more Americanized would win.

A year later they met.
 
The first man said, “My son is playing baseball, I had McDonald’s for breakfast and I’m on my way to pick up a case of Bud…. how about you?”
 
The second man replied, “Fuk u, towel head.”
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September 16, 2009 · Posted in Uncategorized  
　　　　

Space Shuttle – Horses Asses

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 The standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That’s an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used?Because that’s the way they built them in England, and English expatriates designed the US railroads.

 

 Why did the English build them like ? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that’s the gauge they used.

 

 Why did ‘they’ use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they had used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
 
 
Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that’s the spacing of the wheel ruts.
 

So who built those old rutted roads? Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (including England ) for their legions. Those roads have been used ever since.

 

And the ruts in the roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing. Therefore the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. Bureaucracies live forever.

 

 So the next time you are handed a specification/procedure/process and wonder ‘What horse’s ass came up with this?’, you may be exactly right. Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses. (Two horses’ asses.) Now, the twist to the story:
 
 
When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site.
 
 
The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses’ behinds.
 
 
So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world’s most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse’s ass. And you thought being a horse’s ass wasn’t important? Ancient horse’s asses control almost everything… and
 
CURRENT Horses Asses are controlling everything else.
 
 

 
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September 16, 2009 · Posted in Political  
　　　　

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