Rumors R' Us

I just got a new car and I love it!  But not as much as this man.  Danny Brawner apparently really loved his car…  The 46 year old man dropped his drawers in the middle of a grocery store parking lot and proceeded to “make the love” with his car.  Children watched with horror!

By the time the cops arrived the man had apparently emptied his tank and was sleeping quietly beside his car.  Police said Brawner apeared to be intoxicated…

After reading about this incident, “Cash for Clunkers” takes on a whole nother meaning…

David Beckham is freaking HOT HOT HOT!  He could take me out for cocktails….  I’d tell  him he could keep the tails!

Click on pic to see FULL SIZE!

You'll save this much buddy! No more!

Don’t  you agree that it is every one’s job to help save the environment?  People are carpooling to help cut down on smog causing emissions. Some people are doing their part by using pump sprayers instead of aerosols that deplete the ozone layer.  Now, even the “Ladies of the Evening” are doing their part to help save the environment.

 A legal brothel in Berlin, Maison d’envie, is offering an “environmental discount” of 5 euros for customers who arrive by bike or can prove they used public transportation to get there.  I wonder if they get an extra BIG discount if they carpool?

That’s around $7, or half the price of tongue kissing at the brothel (yes, you have to pay extra for that). Rates at the brothel normally start at 30 euros for 15 minutes of sex, or about 14 minutes long than it takes any of the men I’ve known.

The brothel owners say they’re in walking distance of stations on both of Berlin’s major commuter rail lines, as well as a well-maintained bicycle path.  Location, Location, Location….

Brothel owner Thomas Goetz said the new promotion has put some bang back into his business. He told Reuters that up to 5 customers a day are taking advantage of the discount.  I hope they don’t blowall of their savings at one time!

Weird News Central also reports that numerous Berlin housewives are wondering why so many of their husbands have suddenly taken up bicycling.

These are hard times for many people, but now you can do your part to save the environment while just laying there.

OOhh Aaahh Yess baby Yesssss.. 

A 15-year-old girl thought she heard the sounds of her mother being assaulted by her boyfriend.  So she rounded up some friends to go beat  him up.   They  learned  later that the couple actually were having sex.

The girl misinterpreted the woman’s screams of pleasure, and she and four other teens went to the woman’s bedroom in the home.   One of the teens beat the 27-year-old man with a bat and others punched him, police said. He suffered a black eye and  bruises.

The girl, two 16-year-old boys and another boy, 18, were arrested Wednesday night and were arraigned in Court on Thursday. The daughter was charged with assault and conspiracy. the teens face similar counts. The fifth teenager was not charged.

A judge sealed the police report. The names of the girl and the two boys were not released because of their ages.

The 35-year-old woman, reported on Thursday that the girl is her daughter. She denied she was screaming, and said her daughter thought she heard a slap and believed an assault was happening.

“Instead of asking what was going on, they assumed and took matters into their own hands,” The Mother said. “Now they have to learn a lesson.”

The teens knocked on the bedroom door and the boyfriend opened it, according to the couple, who recently broke up.
The teens rushed into the room and the man, said he didn’t have a chance to explain himself. He said he tried to get away, but the teens chased him down and started beating him in the house.

He said he knelt down over a chair and tried to protect his face, but got hit in the eye and in the back. He said Arnold covered his back to try to protect him, but the teen with the bat started hitting him in the legs. Then the youths left.

The boyfriend says, “What if they fight someone else and those guys don’t walk away? What if they kill somebody?” he said. “Then they’re going to spend the rest of their lives in jail. These kids need to learn, go through the court system and see if you do something to somebody, you see what happens.”

What a DICK!  pun not intended. 

It is just amazing!!!  You really can find EVERYTHING you want at Wal-Mart and at a reasonable price!   Save Money Live Better – Wal-Mart! 

Gastonia, North Carolina (The Weekly Vice) — Sometimes a headline and a photo in a story is enough…. and this is likely such a case. If you can bear to read the details feel free. If not, we’ll certainly understand.  Asia Marie Howard, 25, and William Walter Stephens, 83, were arrested Wednesday after having sex in a Wal-Mart parking lot.

According to police, an officer stopped William Stephens and Asia Howard as they were leaving a Wal-Mart parking lot. Officers were dispatched to the scene after a witness encountered the two having sex in Stephen’s Buick. Investigators say Howard admitted to performing oral sex on Stephens for $20.00

Both were booked into the Gaston County Jail on a charge of crime against nature. Howard was released on a $2,500 bond while Stephens was released on a $1,000 bond.

Danny Vice The Weekly Vice http://www.theweeklyvice.com

This would be a great ad for their “Falling Prices” campaign.  You can save money on $4.00 prescriptions and with the money you save, you can get a blow-job in the parking lot!  Sam Walton, I’m sure is turning in his grave….